«Thank you ». A simple word. But for some people, it becomes heavier than a dumbbell. They can't squeeze it out of themselves. «Please » gets stuck in the throat. «Sorry » causes a panic chill. This is not rudeness or ill-manneredness. It's a fear of polite words. A real phobia with its own causes and consequences. Why do people fear to thank, apologize, and greet? And how to live with it? What is the fear of polite words This phenomenon has no official medical name, but its symptoms are familiar to many: an accelerated heartbeat before saying «hello » to a stranger; fear that «please » will sound servile; a feeling that «thank you » makes you feel obligated. People avoid situations that require politeness: they don't go into stores where they have to thank the cashier; they don't call service centers; they skip their turn at the clinic just to avoid saying «sorry ». This is not sociopathy, but an exaggerated sensitivity to social rituals. Psychological roots The first reason is the fear of dependence. «Thank you » is an acknowledgment that you have been helped. For a hyper-independent person, this is unbearable. He thinks that he should do everything himself, and help from others is a blow to self-esteem. The second reason is the fear of rejection. What if they respond to «please » with rudeness? What if «sorry » is not accepted? It's better not to take risks. The third is perfectionism. People fear that their politeness will not be sincere enough, incorrectly intoned, and they will be laughed at. The fourth is childhood trauma: polite words were used as manipulation («say thank you, otherwise…») or mocked («how polite you are, straight lord»). Cultural context In some cultures, politeness is considered weakness. In the post-Soviet space, it is often heard: «no need for these ceremonies, «are you going to bow?». Politeness is associated with servility, with «kneeling ». Therefore, many have developed a reflex: polite = insincere. Against this backdrop, th ... Read more