Expectations of others and overcoming dependence on these expectations
Expectations of Others: How to Survive When Everyone Has Something from YouHave you ever felt that your life belongs to someone else? That you are playing a role written by someone else, and you cannot even reread the script? Every day we face expectations: the mother expects a phone call, the boss — a report, friends — that you will always be available, and neighbors — that you will live quietly and by the rules. We cannot avoid this. But we can learn not to collapse under this burden.Expectations of Strangers: Who Are All These People and Why Do They Want SomethingLet's start with the most harmless but the most numerous — expectations of strangers. The salesperson in the store expects you to be polite. Neighbors — that you will not make noise. A taxi driver — that you will say where to go. The bus driver — that you will pay for the ride. This is the norm and part of the agreement on coexistence. But there is another side: strangers may expect from you what you are not required to give. To smile, to adjust, to be convenient.And here is the first important step — to realize: I am not required to be convenient for everyone. Politeness — yes. Respect — yes. But not dissolving in the desires of others. You have the right to be tired, to have a bad mood, to want to avoid communicating. And if someone is upset about it, it is their offense, not your guilt.Friends: When Expectations Become a TestFriendship is not a contract, but many treat it as such. \"You should support me,\" \"You should be with me in a difficult moment,\" \"Why don't you reply immediately?\". Expectations from friends are often the most painful because they relate to the most precious — closeness, time, trust.And here it is important to distinguish: a friend can indeed count on help in a difficult moment. But he has no right to require you to sacrifice your life for his comfort. Friendship is a balance. If you feel that you are being used, that you are giving more than you receive, that you are always ... Read more
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